Tiny

World Traveller Series III ~ Relationships ~ Episode 4

By Brett Hayhoe

Two men laughing and enjoying drinks at a bar counter with neon signs

Drinking partner. Gogo Club companion. Friend and confidante. A very condensed list that encapsulates Paul and my friendship. I miss his laugh, his irreverence, his naughtiness, and his close friendship immensely.

The Nic

Paul is a larger guy, and although Australians are known to be less than sensitive with our nicknames for people, Paul’s actually came from Alan. One that stuck. For many years we were the three amigos, so to speak.

Paul’s passion for the Pride movement is nothing short of amazing. He truly understands its ethos and defends it passionately. I suppose you could loosely describe the three of us as the old guard — but in the very best way.

Paul lives on Staten Island — one of the most conservative places in New York City — with his darling husband. He was one of my protectors, defenders, and supporters: unapologetically and unconditionally. And it was reciprocated.

Three men smiling and holding rainbow flags at a Pride parade with city buildings in background

Drinking Partner

I could not even pretend to count the number of bars, clubs, and go-go establishments we have attended together. I felt safe with Paul — not because of his size, but because of his protective nature. We never really got into any trouble, not that I can recall, but we had our fair share of great times.

At InterPride AGMs and World Conferences, I could always rely on Paul to know where the best drinking spot was — regardless of the country.

Two men whispering in a crowded bar holding glasses of beer

Road Trips and Events

In previous World Traveller series I have documented some of the more memorable trips with Paul, so I shan’t bore you again — but there is one night I will always carry with me. The night we designed a cookbook as a fundraiser for InterPride. When I say “the night,” I mean it literally. We had twenty-four hours to produce it, and we stayed awake for all twenty-four of them to do exactly that. It was probably one of the most memorable creative experiences of my life.

Another event that stands apart was when Paul invited me to deliver the keynote speech at the Staten Island Pride World AIDS Day event. A room full of rather influential New Yorkers, and me. Suffice to say it went very well — my speech was warmly received, and I had something new to add to the résumé.

Man speaking at podium under spotlight to seated audience

Even with distance between us, and my inability to fly the way I once did, I know that if I were to see Paul again we would simply pick up from where we left off. In life, you can only hope for friendships like that.

I am a very lucky man to have Paul in mine.

The World Traveller Series is written and produced by Brett Hayhoe — publisher, editor and administrator of Q Magazine.
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